Well folks, I've learned some things.
First of all, let me make it clear I have no wish to divulge the events that inspire these reflections. Please do not inquire. Suffice it to say, some things have taken place (some past, some present) that have made me realize the following:
1. What people think of me does not define who I am or what I am capable of.
If I let other people's opinions be my standard, I will never realize my full potential. I have so much I want to do in my lifetime, so many goals to reach. I refuse to let the puzzlingly unfeeling nature of others stand in my way. On the other hand, it's good to hang onto those people who truly believe I'm way better than I actually am; these people keep inspiring me to be better, even when I think I'll never be the person I want to be.
2. Not all relationships are going to last a lifetime.
It hurts me to say it. My personality type doesn't like any sort of change, and the people I love become embedded in my heart. So when one of them leaves, I bleed. But I know now that some people just aren't going to be there forever, and if they want to leave, I have to let them. I have to let them, and not hold it against them. And I'm okay with that.
3. Even adults can act like school kids on a playground.
It's so baffling to witness these instances! It's amazing, truly, how some people resort to childish methods to deal with their problems, no matter who they hurt in the process. I've seen this all my life, but it still amazes and saddens me.
4. No matter what I do, someone will think the worst of me.
It's true. There will always be that one person out there determined not to like me. But I really can't say too much because there are a few people who I genuinely do not like no matter how hard I try (I'm just being open...). I feel bad about it, but some personalities just don't mesh. (I can be (and am) pleasant and civil to these people, for the record.) The point is, I can still be the person I want to be no matter what those determined to dislike me do to stand in my way and bring me down.
5. No matter what I do, someone will think the best of me.
And I don't deserve that. But I'm so incredibly thankful for it! I have so much to thank my parents for, but their never-ending support and unconditional love is pretty near the top of the list. Etienne, too, is a great inspiration. He may not always agree with what I want to do, but he lets me go ahead with it anyway, because he believes I will find the right path and succeed no matter what.
6. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others around you won't feel inferior.
Marianne Williamson said that. Actually, she said there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others will not feel insecure around you. Essentially the same. Etienne found that quote a few weeks ago and shared it with me. I chewed on it for a few days, then decided it was true. There is nothing enlightened about holding myself back or hiding what I'm capable of so people around me will feel better about themselves. We all have our own talents and gifts, and we all ought to use them to our fullest potential. I may be better at something than someone else, but I shouldn't hide that. (Shouldn't flaunt it either). Likewise, that person is better at something than I am. Let it shine! Hone your talents to perfection!
7. The Paradoxical Commandments are some good rules to live by.
If you've never heard of them, take the time to read them. They're very true, and very inspiring. Sometimes when I get discouraged, one of them will pop in my mind. It's so helpful to know I'm not the only one, and I can overcome.
8. I will be a much happier person if I accept the apology I will probably never get.
Have you ever thought about that? It's so easy to hold a grudge and harbor bitterness, but I'm the one impeding my happiness when I do that. At some point in your life, someone will hurt you. I hope they apologize, but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes they don't even know they've hurt you. Some people aren't sorry for whatever it was. But no matter what happens, no matter what that other person says/does or doesn't say/do, I can forgive. It is my Christian responsibility to forgive. But, like all God-given mandates, it's for my own good. A lot of people have a hard time swallowing their pride, myself included, but we'd be so much happier if we did! I'm learning to accept the apology I haven't gotten and forgiving the slights I have received.
9. Family is such a blessing.
My family and I got to spend the weekend together (the first time since I don't even know when!) this past weekend. Now there are some people who will always love me and inspire me to be better. They will always encourage me to realize my dreams and reach my goals. And they'll do whatever they can to help me along the way. I am so thankful for the blessing of family! I need to appreciate and utilize it more.
10. Making myself vulnerable is necessary to build valuable relationships.
I have to be willing to open up and let people in - knowing they could walk out whenever they want to - if I'm going to have any relationships that mean something. And some will walk out. But some will stick with you to the end, come what may. Those are the people I truly cherish.
The more time passes, the more I cherish the good in other people. I love the people who are compassionate to others, who focus more without than within. Sometimes I judge too quickly or too harshly the characters of people I come in contact with. Truth is, we could all use a little mercy.
Things change as time passes. The people who genuinely care about you will be revealed, and you'll know where to place your greatest investments. These have been some painful lessons to learn, but I'm smarter and stronger because of them. I hope maybe these words can help someone else swimming in the same sea.
Love,
Elizabeth
